It's Been A While

So, I haven't blogged in four months.

You'd think after living in a new place for seven months I would feel adjusted now, but I still don't. I'm not really sure why. Some days have been better than others, but it's been surprisingly difficult, figuring out who I am now that I've moved away from place that was so much a part of me.

I'm better than I was.

I'll admit, I moped around for the first few months here. I felt so disconnected from what I thought was "my life." Not all the changes were bad, just different, and thinking about that disconnection still hurts. Guess I'm still homesick some days. My job has helped.

I love my job. I love recommending books and seeing kids come into the store to play with the toys and I love wrapping presents and getting ARCs and doing storytime and all around having fun. It's the best job I've ever had, and it's one of the better things in my life right now. I never thought work would be one of the things helping me get through a rough time, but it has.

But.

I don't know where I am as a writer. I don't know if I still want to keep trying, or if I just don't want it enough right now. I don't know what my future holds. I'm struggling with some other of life's frustrations, and all around I just don't feel good about myself as a creative person. I wish I did right now, but I don't.

What it comes down to, is that I'm not sure how much I'll be blogging anymore. I realize this is kind of funny considering I haven't posted on here in several months, but I do appreciate the friendships I've made through this medium, and all of the wonderful people I've gotten to know because of blogs. This isn't a goodbye, but it is me saying that I don't feel ready to come back, either. I will probably post from time to time, but for now I want to be at peace with at least this aspect of my life.

Thank you for your friendship and for your support. Even though I am still struggling with Who I Am after this unexpectedly difficult change, I am grateful for those who love and support me know matter where my life goes.

- Debbie